Even in the Darkest Times

Never did I imagine life and love would be this difficult. Something so precious and sweet can leave you high, dry and on the hunt. Hunting for affection, comfort, reassurance, safety, loyalty, a true form of love. A person to make all the worries fade away while uplifting you with love pure and true.

Even in the darkest of times when poor communication took over, i found peace within myself and pulled myself out. I learned to entertain myself and answer my own questions. It was only the beginning of learning to live without you.

Even in the darkest times when we scream and fight, imposing stress, i learned to keep to myself and when to keep my mouth zipped. The stressed transformed my life drastically. You watched me transform in size and weight not worrying about whether i ate.

Even in the darkest of times when trust got thrown out the window and intimacy started to fade. When cheating was an easy decision for you. I had to keep it together and stay strong. I had to continue like nothing was wrong.

When the lack of intimacy started to take over and i no longer felt attracted to you things only got worst. Then i realized it was mostly only hurting me. I was putting myself in a deeper sense of disappointment and hurt. The dark times just kept coming and getting darker.

Ive learned to love myself and accept myself even in the darkest times. When all else has faded and the love seemed far, i thought myself that the light is within and even in the darkest times that light will shine bright.